


Kara and the Drunks

by Lola_McGee



Series: Kara is Really Really Queer Slight AU [4]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: #NotSorryAtAll, Alex has a lot of issues that needs to be explored, Alex is drinking, All Supergirl ladies are queer, All the drunk girls will almost certainly be inspired by different fandoms, And Alex is often headcanoned as having a problem, Chapter 3 has some references to marijuana and lsd usage, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gratuitous push up competition, I'll leave it up to you guys to figure out if that means slept together or "slept together", Jess the Secretary is Bae, Kara Danvers is super queer, Language, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lucy Lane is a badass, Mentions of drinking and alcohol, Mostly to do with the fact that Alex is super closeted during at least the first chapter, So be safe, Very very lightly implied internalized homophobia, Wonder Woman and Kara have slept with each other, You get a cookie if you can name the fandom, also, inspired by a tumblr post, that's canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-01 21:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10930578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lola_McGee/pseuds/Lola_McGee
Summary: When Kara goes to bars, she always, always, ends up gaining a lot of attention from drunk girls.  Not because they're hitting on her, but because she's so damn validating.OrA bunch of one shots of Kara at bars with the people she loves, who gets to see how she's a magnet from drunk girls.Inspired by a Tumblr post.  http://karalovesallthegirls.tumblr.com/post/158764659313/alex-refuses-to-take-kara-to-any-human-bars





	1. Vicky's

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo hi everyone!
> 
> This series sort of takes place in the same universe as my previous work, Casanova Kara, but that's not required reading. It just mostly gives some backstory on Kara's gender and sexuality, but I have no idea how prominently that comes up at this point.
> 
> Also, I'm really worried about the title of this piece, so if anyone has major problems with it, let me know. It just was the snappiest title I could think of.
> 
> Just gonna be a bunch of one shots of this. They'll come out whenever I write a new one.
> 
> Inspired by a Tumblr post from karalovesallthegirls, link in the summary. It just has really really good head canons, okay?

Kara simply wasn’t thinking, the first time she took Alex to her usual drinking spot. She had just been so excited to see her sister and spend _time_ with her, after university and work keeping them apart for just too long. And not just a short sister’s night; no she had the whole weekend! Two full nights! And a whole day!

So when Alex asked her if she knew of any good places to find a drink around, to cut back and let loose, Kara gave no thought to the potential implications of showing this place to Alex as she hastily recommended Vicky’s, the, in Kara’s well thought out opinion, cute little bar only a couple of blocks away from where she lived. Sure, it wasn’t a club like Alex had probably hoped, but was it a crime to want to keep Sister’s Weekend… sisterly? For Alex not to disappear that night and only come back the next morning, looking all kinds of run down.

So, those were the thoughts that ran through Kara’s mind as she blurted out Vicky’s, and not the two potentially very important reasons why she might not want to take Alex there.

1) The far far less important reason was it’s… slightly unofficial status as LGBT friendly. Very friendly. It definitely wasn’t a gay or lesbian bar; no, too many straight people were there on a daily basis to really be a gay bar. But, homophobes were tossed out and banned rather quickly, and Vicky keeps a rainbow flag pinned up permanently behind the bar. And, so a lot of the regulars were LGBT. And she had no idea how Alex would react to that.

(It wasn’t as if she thought Alex were homophobic, no not at all. Sure, she had never seen Alex knowingly interact with someone who was queer; Kara’s largely unexplained and special circumstances pushed to one side. But Kara wouldn’t believe for a single second, that Alex, her wonderful, supportive and caring older sister, would seriously have a problem with someone who was LGBT.)

No, what would have worried Kara, if she had thought about it, was how fiercely protective Alex was of Kara’s secret. That anything seeming out of the ordinary must be avoided at all costs; that meant being a B average student, having a poor social life, dating the nice seeming boys. And while Kara felt that, in the year 2010, being around queer people often wasn’t really a particularly noticeable thing, Alex could be a little… old school about what seemed normal or not. But that reason would have been navigable if it wasn’t for the other one.

2) The second, much more relevant, reason was that Kara maybe had sort of a… reputation at the bar. A reputation as a protector of consent; trusty, eagle-eyed watcher of drinks; unofficial bouncer of jerk-faces via pout; caller of taxis and friends. And, most importantly, the bubbly, affable provider of pure affirmation, which apparently a lot of people who were tipsy or drunker found rather pleasant. So, really, if Kara had thought about it, she would have definitely realized that taking Alex to Vicky’s was probably not her greatest idea.

(Again, it’s not that Alex would have a problem with Kara having a few favourite places; in Midvale, after all, any place associated with food knew Kara very well. Instead, it’s the exact nature of the attention she always received at Vicky’s, how people there knew to rely on her if they needed something heavy moved, how she always appeared out of nowhere to help with a problem, how Kara somehow knew a thousand tricks to entertain drunks and sobers alike no one figuring how she did them. It’s too… obvious. Too non-human. Too _alien_. She knew Alex wouldn’t approve, and knew she had to agree.)

But no, the thought only occurred to her when she walked in, sister in tow, and several people turned their heads toward them with a bright grin on their faces, and a slight shout of “Kara!” on their tongues. Kara could only just stop, shyly wave to all of the people who called out and drag Alex to a quiet table in the corner. Away from all the others. She watched as Alex’s eye flickered around, taking in the gentle ambience, while Kara took the opportunity to grab drinks. Vodka Cranberry for Alex and a club soda for herself. When Kara returned, Alex gave her a small smile.

After Alex took a large sip of her drink, she turned to Kara. “So, I presume you’re something of a regular here?”

Kara just shrugged as she took a sip from her drink, hoping to hide her embarrassment. Once she felt her face settle, she reached and toyed with the hinge of her glasses. “Yeah, well, it’s quiet here. Nice. Nothing bad really happens.”

Of course it doesn’t quite work. “So it’s not because you’re crushing on some guy who works here.”

“Alex no.” Kara hissed, her embarrassed face coming on full-tilt, while Alex just laid on a sceptical face. And while she did find some of the people who worked here aesthetically pleasing, it wasn’t that. It wasn’t.

(Okay, and sure, Max would be here after she finished whatever she was doing that day for the Theater Programme, and Brian sometimes popped his head in looking for the night to begin. So yes, there were people who she… crushed on who would sometimes be here at the bar.)

(But truly, that wasn’t the reason for her frequenting it. No, it was just nice to have a space to… be slightly more Kara around other people than usual. After all, drunk people’s minds play small tricks on them all the time. Sure, she’d have to be careful to not been seen by the sobers and the staff, but even then, there were little ways that Kara could test her powers, letting her use them invisibly.)

So, she wasn’t here for a crush, but it definitely didn’t hurt that she had some there. Alex decided to take pity on her and drop the topic, letting further conversation flow easily between them.  
__________________________________________________________________________

All was going well on the “keep Alex from overthinking what Kara does while she’s here at this place” until a short dark skinned woman with a quite impressive afro came up to their table. “So Kara, finally got someone special in your life?”

“No! No no no! Nobody special! Not that she isn’t special, because she’s very special and wonderful, but she’s not special in the way that you meant unless you meant just special in general then, well, yeah, Alex is pretty special.” Kara just slapped herself on her forehead, while Alex just looked upon Kara with fond exasperation. “Joanie, this is Alex, my sister and best friend. Alex, this is Joanie, a friend here. Here being Vicky’s. I mean, I’d think we’d be friends outside of Vicky’s, because I think that Joanie, sorry Joanie I didn’t mean to make it sound like you weren’t here but I had to differentiate between you Alex and you Joanie, is pretty nice but I’ve never seen you-Joanie outside of here so I can’t say for sure. And… I’m rambling again.”

Joanie just twittered a small laugh. “Calling me your friend works just fine, Pup.” She looked up and stared at Alex for a moment. “Oh and does your sister here have someone special in her life?”

Alex’s face flushed brightly as she took in the implication of Joanie’s words. “Oh, no no. I’m straight. Definitely straight. As straight as Kara.” A sly smile crossed Joanie’s face, but she nodded.

“Well honey, that’s chill. Don’t say I get you straights, but c’est la vie. Now, you know I love you K, and I’d love a darts rematch, but I think for the moment I’m in the mood for some company that’ll be a bit more… receptive, if you catch my drift. See you later?” She doesn’t wait for a response before walking off and disappearing into the crowd.

Alex stared at Kara, mouth slightly open in disbelief. “Well, that was a first.”

“Huh?”

“Haven’t been hit on by a woman before. Or been hit on by the same person who moments before hit on my sister.”

“Oh. Ooooh. Wait wait? What?” Kara lowered her face to Alex’s, eyes wide with… something difficult to describe. Embarrassment maybe? “You-you think Joanie was… was hitting on me?”

“Well, maybe not now, but she’s definitely into you. Too bad for her that you’re straight, right?” Kara just nodded, not willing to get into that with her sister. Not at the moment.

Alex just sighed. “Oh Kara. One of these days…” She never finished that thought, and just finished her drink, going up to get another one.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Throughout the night, several people would come by their table, either to chat with Kara or hit on Alex, who was (unsurprisingly) very popular with the ladies. And after each time, Alex would drain her drink, go up, order another one. Got through five drinks in under an hour that way. So yeah, Alex Danvers was very sloshed.

The piece de resistance of the night, however, when a very very tipsy woman, wobbling shakily in her heels, a watery grin on her face. Mousy brown hair and bright eyes caught Kara’s. “K-K-Kara! The-There you are!” Her voice thick with both drink and emotions.

Kara jumped up and gave this woman a tight hug. “Max!” She withdrew for a second. “What’s up?”

“Oh i-it’s nothing. I just… I’m just…” Max stumbled around for the right words, unshed tears springing to her eyes.

“Oh Max.” Kara gently guided her to a seat at their table. Once she had seated Max and ensured she’d not fall out of her chair, she kneeled next to her. “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

The tears sprung out fully now, each word huffed out in between a quiet sob. “A-all my p-props are t-t-t-terrible and… and… look so ugly and D-D-Dana’s… S-S-She’s ig-ig-ignoring me and… and... it’s probably b-b-b-because I’m so ugly and plain and look at me and” she broke down in tears while Kara reached around and gave her a squeeze.

“Max your props are so good! I promise! You are so so so good at what you do! I haven’t even managed to break one yet and, you know me, I break everything! And Dana--” Kara scrambled around for the words but could quite reach them.

It was a surprise to everyone but Alex (who was too far gone to even really notice what she herself was doing) when Alex spoke up. “Yeah, you are! You’re--you’re so amazing! Kara’s always telling me about your prop thingies and how much she likes them and she never breaks them even though Kara’s Kara. And you’re preeeeeeeetty. So pretty. Like, fuck, look at you. Dana... Daaaaaaaaaaana. Dana. Dana would be stupid to be ignoring you.” Alex managed to half stand, half stumble her way to Max and Kara and give them both a sloppy hug, while mumbling to herself. “Gosh. Goooosssshhhhh. Gosh. That’s a fun word. Gosh.”

After a few moments of their hugging, another drunk girl stumbled her way over; a blonde who, apparently, seemed very fond of her own legs. “Maaaaax. I-I’ve been loooooking for you.” She reached out for Max and joined the group hug. “Dana--Dana she told me to tell you, right? That she’s so sorry and that things just got all crazy and she lost her phone and…” She trailed off, seemingly forgetting what she was saying, but gripping Max all the tighter.

“Taylor…” is all Max can struggle out before she started crying harder but with a more genuine grin on her face, and Alex started to squeeze everyone tighter and Kara could only smile.

All in all, maybe Kara was right to take Alex to Vicky’s. Despite whatever hangover she’d be facing in the morning.


	2. The Normandy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Alex have... a Conversation.
> 
> Lucy's here also b/c we always can do with more Lucy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, quick notes:
> 
> This chapter is set during Season 2, sometime between Alex coming out and the Daxamite invasion.
> 
> Alex got together with Lucy, not Maggie. (And where Lucy's been this whole time... well, that's a story for a different day.)
> 
> This chapter has the briefest mention of the... Disappointment (i.e. Mayohell). Again, that's a story for a different day.
> 
> 3 chapters in one day! I know, right?
> 
> Also you guys are the best! Like holy what? This story took off like a rocket! I did not expect that and I love all of you for it. Like over 100 kudos and a thousand hits in a single day? What?

It had been a long day for Supergirl. A very, very long day. It started before dawn with a warehouse fire, then three attempted muggings, fifteen independent alien incidents scattered across the morning, before she had to break up an alien gang fighting a xenophobic human gang, both of whom had serious weaponry that could actually do some short term damage to her. The fight lasted hours longer than it should have. While, thankfully, Snapper wasn’t yelling at her for any articles she had written, he was yelling at her to try to find a new lead for her next article.

So at the end of the day, all Kara wanted to do was sit back, order an unconscionable amount of pizza and potstickers and enjoy Sister’s Night. However, there was one minor setback to this plan: Lucy Lane.

Well, more specifically, the fact that Alex and Lucy’s relationship was just… so new. They didn’t like spending time apart. Not yet. And while Kara knew that she could just say she wanted some one on one time with her sister, she didn’t want to take this away from Alex. She’s taken so many other things, but not this.

And really, what was there to dislike about Lucy? Nothing, as far as Kara knew. She was smart, pretty, smelled really good, and perfectly in sync with Alex.

(And the fact that Kara would, if not for Alex, make out with Lucy Lane consensually? Well, all the more reason to approve of Alex’s girlfriend.)

So Lucy had a standing invitation to Sister’s Night, and two votes on what they do for Sister’s Nights when she’s around since Alex can’t seem to go against Lucy’s wishes. And that’s how Kara found herself being dragged to “this really great bar, seriously” by her sister and her sister’s girlfriend. And how she found herself stopping herself (and by extension, Alex and Lucy) just outside of it because _she’s been here before, and it was a gay bar_. And the odds that she was going to have… that conversation with Alex tonight went up drastically.

But she couldn’t walk away now, and really it wasn’t as if she wanted to; she just didn’t want to talk about why Kara Danvers might be a known frequenter of a gay bar. So, shooting out a quick prayer to Rao that a) the bartender wasn’t one that she knew and b) the patrons who would recognize her also weren’t in.

Of course it was futile. While the Normandy was frequently busy, and far less intimate than the other bars Kara often found herself in, she probably knew every bartender there by name by now, and well, the bar was rather close to the front door, so she couldn’t escape it.

“Hey Kara and Alex! And Major.” He gave Lucy a quick salute. “I didn’t know you three knew each other.”

“Kaidan!” Kara rushed over and pulled the stocky man into a half hug over the bar, while Lucy returned him a half-serious, half-sarcastic salute. “All’s well?” Kara could feel Alex eyeing her curiously.

He laughed lightly. “Yeah yeah, it’s all going well. The usuals?” They all nodded. “Good. I’ll bring them over to you guys in a moment. Also, Kara, Liara’s here tonight, and has been drinking quite a bit. Just thought you might like to know.”

Kara gave him a quick smile and grabbed the first available table, Alex and Lucy sitting next to each other, and across from her, as a slightly uncomfortable silence descended upon them.

After a few minute, Lucy broke the silence. “So Kara, how come Kaidan knows you?”

Kara found her eyes looking downward, her fingers tugging at the arm of her glasses. “Well, you know. I’ve been here before.”

Lucy smirked, turning to Alex. “Oh really? How interesting.”

After giving a small glare at Lucy, Alex reached over and placed her hand gently on Kara’s. “Kara…”

And it just bubbled out from underneath her skin, bursting from her lips. “I’m not straight!”

Lucy threw another small smirk at Alex. “That’s my cue to go to the toilet and take a really long time. See you soon babe.” She pecked Alex on the lips before standing and disappearing in the directions of the bathroom. The two sisters just stared at each other for a moment.

“Alex…” Kara’s voice was low, quiet. Tentative.

“Kara, why didn’t you tell me?” The amount of pure concern, with a slight hint of terror, caused a wave of emotion to wash over Kara. She felt tears building up behind her eyes.

“Because… it’s something that makes me different.” Alex opened her mouth to speak, probably to say something indignant, but Kara powered on. “I’m not straight because I’m not human. Humans can be straight or gay or bi or pan or ace or whatever and that’s all just a part of their, your reality. But I… I couldn’t be anything but not straight. Kryptonians aren’t like that; we’re just generally attracted to anyone. But here on Earth… It was just easy to make my relationship with women quiet and short. Much easier to just act purely straight. I didn’t tell you before you were out because I was so scared how you would react and it took me a while to learn how these things even work on Earth and by then, well, as I said it was easier to pretend. And I’m telling you now because you’re gay and I know you were so scared of me not being able to understand and I _can’t_ , not when it comes to the fact that you’re human and being closeted and gay here is just so different and I wanted to tell you but I didn’t want it to seem like I was just tagging on to your thing, but I should have because I realize that you needed your sister to show how she can understand at least some of what you’re going through.”

“Oh Kara.” Alex gave her hand a squeeze. “I’m just so glad that you told me. Coming out was… a difficult process for me, as you know. And so I could never be upset with you trying to hold it in. And you’re right, I do need my sister to show she understands but also I have no idea how I would have felt if you told me while I was coming out.” A moment’s beat. “So,” and a slightly mischievous grin came over her face, “you come here to pick up ladies?”

“Not since Mon-El.” Kara said it so bitterly that the conversation ground to a halt.

But Alex, bless her heart, tried to pick it back up immediately. “So, I guess we can talk about girls now, can’t we?”

And Kara gave her a small smile. “Yes, yes we can.” And shortly after, Lucy returned and their drinks arrived.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Lucy had a wide, definitely not sober grin on her face. A face which revealed that she was about six drinks into the evening. “Soooo Kara.”

Kara did not trust that grin at all. “Yes, Lucy?”

“Kara, you have to tell us which girls you’ve crushed on. Or currently crushing on.”

Kara hastily shot a look at Alex, hoping for some defence here. “Umm…”

Alex who was still mostly sober, was no help at all. “Yeah Kara. I want to hear all about your type.”

“Oh wait oh wait!” Lucy bounces up and down in her seat. “Let’s… Let’s make it a guuesssing game. Cat Grant.” She sounded so pleased with herself.

Kara’s eyes just went as wide as anything. “Umm…”

“That’s a yes. What about… President Marsdin.”

“W-what? I mean, maybe…”

“Knew it!”

Alex laughed. “I think Kara has a type.”

“Well one more test! To--to make sure! Because… science!”

Alex joined in, as if this were some choreographed song and dance, smiling at the embarrassment her sister was going through. “Who?”

“Lena. Luthor.”

Kara could try to deny it, but wasn’t it fruitless? And wouldn’t her face just give it away, considering that Alex, the expert at reading Kara, was sitting right there. “Yes.”

“Ha! You have a thing for women in power!” Lucy looked like she had just solved the world’s hardest puzzle. “Wait, wait wait? Did you ever have a thing for… for me?”  
__________________________________________________________________________

Alex and Lucy were off… somewhere in the bar, presumably making out, while Kara nursed her drink slowly. Those two could handle themselves. She smiled; glad she had come out, even if she still wanted a nice relaxing night in. Perhaps tomorrow.

And Kara had completely forgotten about Kaidan’s little notice until a blue woman (entirely blue; clearly alien) walked over to their, dragging a friend in tow. Her steps were confident.

“Kara. Kaaaaaaaaara.” And her voice was drunk. “Have I told you how wonderful Shep is? She’s soooo pretty. And strong. H-*hic*-have you felt her biceps? Or--Or how she does chin ups.”

Kara couldn’t keep the amusement out of her voice. “Liara, I know you love Shep so much. And Shep loves you equally as much.” Now, Kara had never actually met this “Shep”, only relayed second hand stories from Liara and the others that knew her. But, Kara had heard enough to know that Shep was slightly scary but also probably a dork. She wondered if Alex would get along with her.

“And she’s so mentally tough. Nothing… Nothing gets to her, and she’s always able to make--those really really hard decisions, you know? I-I-I just don’t know what she saw in me. I was so yoooung at the time. And yet she… she… she just looked over the fact of how naive I was, how much I didn’t know. And she’s also with Garrus, which is great because Garrus is the best but also maybe she’d just be happy to… to be with just him?”

Her friend finally joined in the conversation. “Because you’re worth it Liara! I see it plain as day and Shep obviously did too. And Shep looooves you. Can’t stop gushing about you and Garrus all the time.” Her voice sounded more sober than Liara’s, but not by much.

“Samantha! Samantha!” Liara turned to her friend, as if she just noticed she was there. “Why-why do you program all of your AI to have such hooot voices?” Samantha blushed deeply. “It’s like-- wait! Is that your… _kink_?” Liara forced her head forward, pushing into Samantha’s personal space, as Samantha just stammered.

“Well, no! Of course not! Why would it be? Yeah, I’m gay and like sexy lady voices but that doesn’t mean… it’s not like… Well fine, I’m not going to share EDI with you any more.”

Kara jumped in. “It’s okay to have your kinks. I have my own after all.” Kara had to shake off a flash of a certain CEO wearing all of her piercings (plus some she only suspected the CEO had). “And EDI?”

Liara jumped in. “It’s this AI program that Samantha’s making that has a super super hot voice.”

Kara just hmmed. “I bet it’s brilliant. Are you looking for a potential buyer? Since I think I know one.”

Samantha’s tight hug was what let Kara know that coming out was the right decision. In both senses, technically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact! I named my Shep "Lena". That was way before Supergirl even first started to air and so it's just a happy coincidence.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Like always, kudos comments and bookmarks make my day, especially comments since it lets me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> Come yell at me about anything (including about how Alex and Shepard might be the same person) either in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders.
> 
> See ya next time!


	3. The Mystery Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena go on a date at a... bar?
> 
> The messiest of chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't... I don't... Just... Just read the chapter. It's a mess, but it's what I'm giving you guys sooooo....
> 
> For those curious: This takes place shortly after Casanova Kara which took place sometime nebulously after Season 2 ends. Once the finale happens, I'll be able to give a much firmer timeline.
> 
> This one comes with a change of perspective.
> 
> Warning: the chapter references some marijuana and lsd usage, mostly in a comedic way. Just in case you needed to know that.

Of course, when Kara discovered that a bar in National City often had a _giant dog that roams around freely and lets everyone pet it and feed it and they don’t serve food there that is harmful to dogs for that very reason, she was going to go._ And of course all she had to do was pout slightly in Lena’s direction to make her agree to go. Even if the place looked like some stoner hippy on an acid trip designed it. (Perhaps Cat Grant?)

(Honestly, Kara might not have even needed to pout; they’ve been dating for just a few weeks now and therefore the butterflies were still going on strong.)

(Sometimes Lena wonders if she’ll ever be able to say no to Kara over something as small as this. Not sure why she’d ever want to.)

And of course, when they entered, the first thing that happened was a giant dog, the giant dog, some kind of brownish Great Dane, jumping onto Kara and licking her face excitedly. And Lena saw the little glint in Kara’s eye; could tell how Kara was recording this, memorizing every sensation, every detail, so she could return to this memory over and over again. She wondered, briefly, how many of these cherished memories include herself?

“Whoa Scoob. You better like, slow down maaaan. Don’t scare off the nice lady.” The man behind the bar looked as if he would be more suited sitting on a couch with cheeto dust coating his fingers. But, at least he spoke coherently enough, Lena supposed.

The dog, Scoob apparently, just looked back at the stoner and… honest to God stuck out his (her? their? Not for the first time, Lena wondered what genders dogs have, if any) tongue.

Lena wondered if there’s such a thing as an acid contact trip, or whether the man had some strongly hallucinogenic weed recently. Whatever it was, though, she knew she was almost certainly high on something.

She only had to look over to Kara, though, who managed to pick up Scoob (because of course she had; of course she forgot her own strength when there’s an animal to play with), for her to wonder if she really wanted to leave this high (wondered if maybe she was just permanently on a trip that just happened to get to a really good part and… _dammit Lena, there’s definitely something in here that’s getting you a little buzzed. Unless it’s a placebo? You knew you should have experimented at uni. Then you’d know better._ )

The stoner remained unfazed by this turn of events. “Wow lady, you’re, like, real strong. He usually only gets picked up by me. Anyway, what can I do for ya?”

Kara hurriedly ordered… most everything to eat and a few drinks. And again, the stoner looked absolutely unfazed, just simply turning around to the kitchen, and shouted “One Shag and Scoob, extra S snacks, hold the pickles on the Media. No halvsies.” Turning back to the two, he shrugged. “Your drinks will be ready in a moment.”

Maybe Kara had found a place for herself after all.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Lena was very familiar with the kinds of people who flocked around Kara. Admittedly, the list would be shorter if she tried to count who wasn’t attracted to her as if it was a force of gravity. But, ranging from assholes to powerful people to nerds to badasses to old nannies to everyone in between, Lena thought she had seen every kind of individual who flocked to Kara.

That evening, Lena learned she had to add drunk girls’ to the list.

(She knew that drunk girls gravitated towards Kara and her overwhelming positivity at the other places she drank. But, she’d never been drinking with Kara at a place that Kara hadn’t already been to. She thought it was a case of people having spoken to Kara before; having had a taste of the sunshine she brought.)

To be fair, the first of the drunk girls wandered over to pet the dog, who loyally spent most of his time enjoying wandering around Kara’s side, taking whatever scraps she’d feed him, and letting her scratch behind his ears and even his belly on occasion.

_(Were there such a thing as alien dogs? If there were, this one might be one, considering he ate nearly as much of Kara’s meal as Kara did.)_

The girl who wandered over was clad in a weird purple dress and a green scarf, with hair that bordered on orange. She didn’t even seem to notice that there were other people around, 

“Scooby! T-there you are! I miiiissed you buddy. Coooome to Aunty Daphne. I wanna give you a Scooby Snack.” At the sound of her voice, Scooby (Scoob? Who knew with this lot), shot his head up, tail thumping behind him, as he moved the minimal distance to get near to her, while still being in Kara’s reach.

The woman finally looked up and noticed the two, smiling brightly. “Oh, heeeey there. Usually Scoobs doesn’t… usually he moves a loooot faster when I have Scooby Snacks for him to eat. He--He’s really gotten attached to you, hasn’t he?”

Kara simply beamed. Until the woman’s dopey grin turned into a little frown. “Or maybe… maybe Scooby doesn’t love his Aunty Daphne any more. I thought you loved me Scoobs. I mean, I knoooow I’m the one always getting in trouble.” Her voice started to crack into tears. “And I don’t do much. Fred’s so… so charming, and Shaggy keeps things running and takes care of Scooby and Velma… oh my God Velma is so smart and takes care of the finances and those glasses and that skirt…”

“No no no! I promise, I’ve just been known to give super pets. Isn’t that right darling?” The little smile Kara shot her told her how intentional the little pun was.

And, no way out of it now. Lena simply had to be dragged into this conversation with a bad pun. And not because she saw any of herself in this almost crying drunk girl. “That’s right. She’s basically any dog’s hero. And while I have no idea who any of those other people are, I can tell you that, if you’re in their lives they want you to be. You have something that they like.” Kara beamed at Lena.

Daphne, on the other hand, just sniffled a few times, slowly processing the words. Until Scooby pushed his head onto her lap and looked up with a… big grin. Then she absolutely melted.

_(Okay that dog has to be some kind of goddamn alien. You’ve never seen a dog make such human faces before.)_  
__________________________________________________________________________

Scooby, Scoob, Scoobs, whatever the hell the dog’s name was, spent much less time around Kara the rest of the night; though didn’t stop coming over when food was offered. Kara didn’t seem to mind, though, considering how she seemed absolutely engrossed with smiling softly at Lena, who furiously blushed the entire time. And more drunk girls wandered up to Kara, having been vaguely aware of her interaction with Daphne.

Kara gave each and every one of them her undivided attention without ever stop giving small hints that she was constantly aware of Lena; small hand squeezes, casually dropping her into conversations, and that smile. If Lena thought she couldn’t get more enamoured with the blonde, she was wrong.

After all was said and the bills paid, on their way out, Lena tugged on Kara’s hand to stop her. Kara looked at her, question clearly on her face, head tilted a little.

“Kara, darling, you are amazing. Absolutely so. And so, it’s with all the care in the world that I’m telling you: I will never ever step a foot back into that place again. So if you want to go with someone, find someone else.” Kara giggled at her statement, though Lena wasn’t 100% certain as to why. Instead of questioning it, Lena just drew her face towards Kara. “However, where I am very willing to go with you is to my apartment, where there’s a very nice couch, just,” her lips were mere inches away from Kara’s, both of them slightly holding their breaths, “begging to be cuddled on top of. And with those cuddles, maybe...” Lena pressed her lips against Kara’s, feeling them pressed together, feeling how her lips and teeth pulled in Kara’s bottom lip, biting it gently, how her fingers found their way to the back of Kara’s neck, grasping the hairs there lightly, before breaking away. Kara looked slightly stunned, but in an extremely happy way.

“Maybe, that can happen again.” She smirked; and Kara could only stare as she walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this came from or why it happened. All I can tell you is that this is a thing. That almost certainly is cringe worth. This is just pure crack.
> 
> Also, we have maybe one more of these before I've run out of the initial scenarios that I came up with (maybe two since this one... went in a completely different direction.) So that means unless I get more ideas (or you guys give me some!) we're looking at only one or two more updates before the updates become irregular.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day! Especially comments since it lets me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> And you can always yell at me about anything (including trying to figure out where the hell this chapter came from) either here in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> Love y'all!


	4. A Place Without Any Visible Character

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara needs information. Jess... is a little less than willing to give it over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, honestly. There are parts I like, parts I don't like. Sorry if the texting format is off; this is my first story including any here on AO3 and formatting on this website is a bit difficult to get exact.
> 
> What I never will apologize for, however, is Jess the Secretary. #JessTheSecretaryIsBae4(Tied)
> 
> Also the drunk girl/bar reference in this is really... really weird. Not obscure, but just... done in a weird manner. You'll guys get it though!
> 
> And as a note: this one takes place a few years after the last chapter.
> 
> EDIT: OMG!! I forgot! Thanks all of you guys! You guys are the best! Like nearly 200 kudos? What? This is just a silly little story I got inspired by from a Tumblr head canon. For this much love to be shown my way... It really does make my day.

Kara’s pout was in full force for this. “Come ooooooooon, Jess.” Her voice was slightly louder than usual, trying to be heard over the ambient conversations and the thumping music being played; she didn’t shout, however. No, that was reserved for when she needed to burst everyone’s eardrums. (If it was just for when she wanted to… well she’d scream a lot more often then.)

“No.” Jess managed to project her voice clearly despite sounding exactly as normal. It was a trait that Kara admired, though, in this instance, it was not working to her benefit.

Yet Kara wasn’t anything if not persistent. “Pleeeease?”

“No.” Aaaaand… of course Jess wouldn’t budge.

Well, if persistence failed, try harder. “But--But… I’m your boss’ girlfriend!”

Jess just shook her head. Again. “Still no. Not going against my boss.”

So to try harder once more. “I’ve already gotten her to admit the month! I just need the date!”

Jess sighed, rolling her eyes while finishing off her drink. “Is this why you took me out to drinks?”

Kara fiddled with her glasses and pursed her lips. “... No?”

Jess chuckled, “You know that you’re a horrible liar right, Ms. Zor-El?”

Kara’s eyes flickered around the bar, as if anyone would clue in on her birth name, before continuing in a hurried whisper. “What if I told you that I needed the date to do something really really special?”

“Well short of finally putting a ring on it…” Jess’ eyes lit up in understanding. “No!”

Kara tilted her head in confusion. “No?”

“You’re finally getting your head out of your ass and proposing?” Jess’ eyes were bright with excitement.

Kara grinned in pure excitement, glad that someone had guessed it. “Yes! So you’ll tell me the date, right?”

Jess made a show of considering it, tapping her finger against her lip. “Hmmm…”

And back to the pout. “Please?”

Jess shook her head gently. “No.”

Kara’s eyes widened slightly. “No?”

“No, I am not telling you the date of my boss’ birthday so you can propose to her on it.”

Kara slumped in her chair. “Why not?”

Jess shot Kara an exasperated look. “Have you ever, exactly, considered why she doesn’t tell anyone her birthday?”

Kara sat back for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip, before speaking. “Do you know that I don’t know exactly when my birthday is?” Jess shook her head. “Exactly. And you know what the day I celebrate my birthday is?” Another shake. “It’s the day I finally… came here.” This mostly truth defined Kara’s and Jess’ relationship; as long as the name _Supergirl_ never passed through either of their lips, then, technically, Jess can know all of the other facts about Kara’s life.

The dots were connecting in Jess’ mind. “The day that you learned…”

Kara just nodded. “Exactly. So I know that Lena’s birthday isn’t full of happy or good memories for her. But I use my birthday to celebrate it well. To celebrate the people who came into my life; because, Alex and Eliza and Jeremiah were brought into my life as a result of that day. Winn, Lena and James. Even you Jess. That’s why I think it’s important for Lena to associate the day with more actual happiness. With people coming into her lives who won’t leave it.”

Jess slumped in defeat. “Fine, fine… I can’t tell you the actual date, since Lena made me promise to never say it, but I can tell you which week it’s in this year.”

Kara beamed, opening her mouth with profuse praise for the passionate assistant and unlikely, but very welcomed, friend, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank--”

It was at this moment that their conversation was interrupted. “Heeeey. I recognize yooooou. You’re that girlfriend of Lena Luuuthor. You two have your picture ev-ev-everywhere.” Kara sat up straight, instantly vigilant; while the years had dulled some of the worst animosity toward Lena, no matter how hard Lena worked on it, not all of it had disappeared. They didn’t know if it ever would. She relaxed somewhat, though, upon seeing the slightly intoxicated state of person talking to her; even if they did mean ill, they probably couldn’t do much to Kara.

Instead, the intoxicated woman sat down in a spare seat next to Kara. “Can I ask you for some… some advice? Since, shit, you must be awesome, right? Since Lena L-L-Luthor is awesome and her girlfriend must be awesome too.”

Kara couldn’t help but break into a small smile; her guardedness melting into part annoyance over the interruption and part butterflies over the fact that someone called her girlfriend awesome. “Well, I-I-I don’t know about that, exactly. But I guess I can give some advice.”

“Sweet! Great! Awesome! Well, right, I’m, umm, well I’m looking to open my own, own start-up company thing, right?”

“You know, I know nothing about business.”

The woman powered on, as if she didn’t hear Kara; she might not have after all. “I wanted to know, like, just how do you even do it? I… I feel like crying every day and feel overwhelmed and I have no idea what to do most of the time. And, I know what to do in the long term but I just keep on forgetting things or thinking about all the challenges and I have no idea how to organize my time or… or… it’s just really scary when you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. Maybe… Maybe I should do what my ex said and get myself into a convent. Buuut he was kind of a wishy-washy dick with a massive hard-on for his mother sooooooo…” 

Kara paused for a second. Contemplating; she was Cat’s assistant for years, after all. She could help the woman, giver her advice.

Then she… heard something interesting. How a certain heartbeat accelerated. How blood rushed to… certain areas. And Kara smiled, knowing how to set two birds free with one slice of bread. 

(Yes, she did know the actual saying. But birds = awesome! Why should she ever advocate for the harming of birds? Sometimes Kara felt more at home amongst them then amongst humans. At least they understood what it was like for flying to just be… a necessary part of oneself.)

So, instead, Kara decided to have fun. “You know who you should be speaking to?”

“Wh-Who?”

“My good friend here, Jess.” Kara waved her hand toward her drinking partner.

“Really?” The intoxicated woman’s face brightened up considerably, turning to Jess, who looked absolutely whiplashed.

“Kara.” Jess glared at her. Kara ignored it.

“Yeah! She’s the best at that sort of stuff. I’m going to give you two some space. Time I should get back to Lena anyway. You text me those dates Jess?” Kara stood from her seat.

“Kara.” Her voice was firmer, but then the intoxicated woman touched her gently on the shoulder and Jess’ face just went pure _red_.

“Great! See you later!” And with that, Kara exited the bar; one day she really needed to learn the name of the place.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Several hours later Kara received a text. 

_Jess: Between the 12th and the 18th. Inclusive, obviously._

_Kara: Thnx! What’s her name????_

_Jess: …_

_Jess: …_

_Jess: Ophelia._

_Kara: :D :D :D :D_

_Jess: I’m still mad at you about that._

_Kara: U won’t be when u r on ur daaaaate next thursday._

_Jess: fucking cheater_

_Kara: Game Night the day after! Sara’ll be here!!!!!!_

_Jess: ill stay away from you and your two girlfriends thanks_

_Kara: Suit urself! Have fun! :D :D :D :D_

_Kara: There’s a pharmacy a block away, in case u need dental dams! Or condoms! Or something else! ;) ;) ;) ;)_

_Jess: i liked you a lot more when you couldnt talk about sex_

_Kara: :O_

_Kara: B safe! ;)_

Now, about figuring out the exact day of Lena’s birthday…

_Kara: Hey L bb! ily!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3_

_Kara: Also what day of the week does ur birthday fall on this year???_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for all the chapters I already had ideas for. So, until I have more (or if you guys generously provide some!) then Kara and the Drunks will be on a little break and I'll probably pump out a few other stories. Maybe one of two follow ups to Casanova Kara that I've been thinking about.
> 
> And like always, kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day! Comments especially, since they let me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> Feel free to yell at me about anything (even if it's how glad you are that I'm out of ideas for the moment in this fic) either down here in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> Love y'all!


	5. Narook's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy has a one on one with Kara after she (Lucy) starts dating Alex.
> 
> And then there is a gratuitous physical competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while everyone! For this fic, at least. I've been writing/updating other fics rather regularly since apparently I'm Supergirl trash and can't stop. But I had this fun little idea and I love this little series, and you guys seem to like it too (for a reason I don't quite get but makes me feel blessed every day!), so here's a new chapter.
> 
> Also props to koalabear77's "did I forget to mention she's my girlfriend" http://archiveofourown.org/works/11029764/chapters/24582939 for giving me the idea that Kara can figure out other people's emotions really clearly. Like I'm surprised I didn't think of that before. Also go read it b/c it's a great fic.
> 
> For those interested, this chapter happens between Chapter 1 and 2; about a few weeks before Chapter 2.

Look, Lucy Lane isn’t scared of much of anything. Truly. She’s fearless, smart and can kick most people’s asses on a good day. She faces down monsters from nightmares on a regular basis before going and dealing with human nightmares (like Jeff from HR; God, Pam needs to come back from her maternity leave), all while in high heels. 

But, when it comes to Kara’s and Alex’s relationship, she’s absolutely terrified. She’s not scared of Kara, no, and she’s definitely not scared of Alex. (How can she be scared of someone who regularly wears panties with stupid slogans on them, and wants to her dog “Gertrude”?) No, it’s the strength of that relationship that scares her.

(She worries, sometimes, that the relationship is too strong; that it borders on codependency. But she’ll never forget how those two clutch for each other after missions gone wrong; how they seek each other out when they need someone. That the bond between Danvers Sister is near unshakeable. She wonders, sometimes, if she and Lois could have had that kind of bond; if there’s still time for them to forge it. She tries not to linger on the thought too long.)

What currently scares her, while she’s sitting in a bar (another bar that Kara’s chosen; it shocks her how many bars Kara visits. She’s always wanted to ask why Kara knows so many bars) is that this would technically be the second time that Lucy potentially detracts from an important relationship in Kara’s life. First with James, now with Alex; and how, exactly, does Lucy end up dating people who are very close to Kara Danvers anyway?

What scares her is that this would be the first one on one conversation she’s going to have with Kara since Kara learned that Lucy and Alex are dating. And, well, Kara is Kara. Kara would definitely throw her into the sun if she ever did anything to hurt Alex. Not that she would, but sometimes Kara’s protective nature can jump the gun. Just a little.

(Alex broke the news, obviously. Explained how, after Maggie temporarily left Alex’s life, Lucy was there to help with the pieces. How, after Maggie came back, saying “we should kiss the girls we want to kiss”, things clicked in place for Alex. How she had politely turned Maggie down and rushed to Lucy, repeating the same stupid line before asking “so, do you, you know, wanna?” She had, presumably, not mentioned what happened after they kissed, for the mental health of all involved.)

So now, she’s sitting in a quiet bar; a long shot from Dollywood, nursing a beer (or two), slowly (or not so slowly). Her eyes wander, noting every exit, every defensive position she could take. Every structural advantage and/or disadvantage that she’s in. You don’t easily lose training; not like that. Especially since the Director/Co-Director (she’s really going to need to sort out how that actually works in a formal sense one day) of the DEO needs to, at all times, be the example for her subordinates to follow.

(And, okay, if she notices the tanned woman who’s flexing very obviously for her, Lucy’s going out on a limb here and presuming, girlfriend/significant other and can’t help but look multiple times; well the tanned woman is very very ripped and both of them are easy on the eyes and, shit, she’s only a bisexual human.)

It is during her seventh scan of the bar; seeing if she missed anything, when one shining, beaming blonde in a cardigan walks in. The moment of truth. She wonders if Kara would be nice and throw her into an active volcano instead of flinging her into the sun. She’s always sort of wanted to go out like that.  
__________________________________________________________________________

It takes the worst 25 minutes of silent glances and unstarted sentences before Lucy can’t take it any more. She’s on her fourth beer of the night and that’s nowhere near great for her sobriety and she’s pretty sure she doesn’t want to be drunk for when the conversation actually happens. So she takes a deep breath and, finally, begins the conversation.

“Kara, look, if you’re going to give me the shovel talk, give me the shovel talk. And then I’ll promise never to intentionally hurt Alex, you’ll say that you’ll fling me into the sun if I do, and we can get back to bullshitting about whatever and put this all behind us.”

Kara just smiles softly. “I know.”

That… was not what Lucy was expecting. “Y-you know?”

She just points to her ears. “I usually don’t cheat about things like this; and I’d never do it if it was James or Adam or anyone else, really. But if I want to, I can hear every little change in your biology. I don’t, because everyone deserves their privacy. Also it’s cheating and if it relates to myself, well, sometimes I can read too much into it. Usually, I just keep an ear out for the heartbeat of the people I love, like Winn and J’onn. But.” Her smile fades and Supergirl comes out to play. “But, the rules are different with Alex. So I may have spent the last few days… paying attention. And you know what I heard?” The smile returns, brighter than before. “I heard Alex’s body react to yours like Jeremiah’s and Eliza’s did to each other; back in the early days, before I could control it. Nowhere near as strong, of course, but weakly yes. The potential of getting there, yes. I heard your heart stutter every time you two were near to each other

Lucy… really has so many questions after that, but she blurts the first one that’s in her head. “You listened to us while we were fucking?”

Kara’s eyes widen and she starts to sputter. “W-w-well, no, not exactly, I mean I pick up on a lot of things really, and I’ve heard so many people… having intercourse, and it’s not my fault, especially considering the sheer amount of people who, apparently, have a… who like to dress up as me? So when people call my name, I’m always tuned in to that? Which is really really weird, not the me being tuned in to that, because of course I need to hear when people scream my name, but the bit about using me… as a… tool? Fantasy? I don’t even want to know, but I mean, there are a surprising number of people who want to imagine me and Diana and well, that’s awkward because… Well, anyway, it’s not like I can stop listening to Alex; I just can sorta shove her into the background? Not shove, since I love Alex, but you know, intentionally not listen carefully? So that’s what I did when I picked you two guys, though I wasn’t sure it was you you, I just knew it was Alex, and that was her heart during… certain situations… And you can stop me and get another round of drinks whenever you want.”

Lucy laughs. “Okay Kara. I mean, you should probably stop listening to Alex too carefully, if you don’t to be scarred for life.”

Kara puts her head in her hands and groans, while Lucy’s laughing her way to the bar.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Lucy Lane never expected her night to end up like this. Somehow she’s witnessing Kara, stripped down to a sports bra that she’s apparently wearing underneath her pastels and cardigan, matching the tanned woman (Korra, as Kara had loudly proclaimed when the woman had come over; very obviously sloshed) push up for push up. Who had also stripped down to a sports bra, but went one further and was wearing exercise shorts and Lucy could not take her eyes off the competition.

(She tries really really hard not to think of Kara as attractive, but it’s nearly impossible. Sure, she’s dating Alex, but she has eyes dammit.)

The pure amount of… back and arm muscle (and in one case, leg muscle) on display is enough to leave a woman’s mouth and throat dry, is all that Lucy’s saying. The only thing which reassures her is the fact that the other woman (still unidentified), with jet black hair and wearing lots and lots of red, looks as if she’s ready to pounce her girlfriend (wife? Romantic and/or sexual partner at least) as soon as they have a moment of privacy.

(Lucy completely understands, and is, herself, thinking of some… innovative uses for the DEO sparring room. For later. With Alex. And hopefully later is two days from now, and not a month or even a few weeks or even a week from now.)

A stocky lad is counting off push ups, (alternating between a “Nuk!” and a “Tuk!” in between each one, for whatever odd reason) and they are already at 104. (Tuk!) And despite the fact that both of their bodies sheen with the exertion (almost certainly feigned on Kara’s end), neither look anywhere near ready to stopping.

Well, Lucy isn’t about to stop them.  
__________________________________________________________________________

They reach 179 before Korra stops and just lies on the floor, panting. After one more push up, Kara does much the same, rolling on her back and holy mother of abs that’s a sight. How ripped Kara is always takes her by surprise; she goes out of her way to hide it, and well, if she didn’t have Alex (never had Alex in her life, because really finding Kara attractive is a bit weird for her at the moment), then… 

Lucy steps over to help Kara up, barely noticing how the woman in red (Sami, if the pant from Korra is to be trusted) does the same before drawing Korra into a kiss that… well, Lucy’s suddenly less sure of their status as human because usually people need to breathe and that is not breathing.

“You okay Kara?” She asks, for the benefit of people around her. Kara nods, a little bit of fog coming out of her after each breath. “Good. Now you’re gonna buy me dinner since, so far I’ve got drinks and a show., and I want to complete the package.” Her wink sends Kara’s face into her hands again.

So maybe, just maybe, she’s going to enjoy having Kara as some kind of little sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> As usual, kudos, comments and bookmarks always make my day! Especially comments since it lets me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> And you can yell at me about anything (like how upset I am that both Casanova Kara and Kara and the Drunks predates the Wonder Woman ad because dammit, adding Wonder Woman more prominently would have been awesome, and now I'm basically retconning that yes, duh, the two have slept with each other. Fact) either down here in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders!
> 
> Love y'all and hope you have a nice day!
> 
> Edit: I need y'alls help also! Should the next chapter be the lone: Get Man-Hell out of this ship but maybe I should also address the time the two dated, or be some basic Kara/Jess the Secretary crack.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it didn't make your eyes bleed!
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, and bookmarks make my day! Especially comments since it lets me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> Feel free to yell at me about anything, literally anything either down in the comments or on tumblr @alienbeegenders. 
> 
> I will also be taking prompts for this, and whatever other things you guys can think of, forever.


End file.
